He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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