hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
