my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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