Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
