I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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