This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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