He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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