I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
