M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
