when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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