Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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