Just fell off a train. Bad.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
