Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
