is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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