I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
