Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
