NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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