you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize