Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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