I hate your face
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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