I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Randomize
