The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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