YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
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