i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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