If i come over, it means nothing
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
