So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize