i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
