OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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