there's paper in my vomit.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
