there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
