hotel room ftw
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
A bitchslap is in order.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
