my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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