I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
