dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
