Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize