I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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