You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
