Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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