Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Your penis caused this!
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