so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
did i walk over a car last night?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
