Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
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