We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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