I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
