i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Randomize
