I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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