Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
