I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
That's how pantless uber rides happen
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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