is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
