Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
