I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
