Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
