That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
