At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
