I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
